Chapter 44: Giving out the punishment! But you guys aren’t included!
ーA 30 second summary about everything that happened the last episodeー
A flaming zombie horse called Nightmare was stealing carrots from the field.
While Routa and the others were worrying about this amnesiac horse who can’t even remember its own form, a terrifying, grim reaper-like skeleton appeared.
Routa urinated in surprise, while Nafra rolled around laughing upon seeing that.
Getting mad at the skeleton for suddenly attacking Routa, Ren played an endless game of whack-a-mole with it using her tail as revenge.
Then, as the sun rose, Nightmare started ascending to nirvana. However, our protagonist had it forcefully canceled by making her change her form with magic.
Then, the carrot thief was punished!
「*Pant*ー…… *pant*ー……… (Heaveーho…… Heaveーho……)」1
I kept walking with such a heavy load on my back.
What’s with this punishment? It’s harsh, way too harsh.
Is that the punishment for stealing crops from the fields?
「Wan wan! (Wait a minute! Why am I the one who’s working!?)」
I wasn’t the one who ate up the carrots on the field you know?
Why is that packhorse just leisurely waiting over there for this baggage!?
Looking over the bushes by the side of the pathway, I can see that the large black horse was just casually eating the grass on the ground.
It was just enjoying itself without any idea about my suffering.2
「Wafuu…… (At any rate, this sure is heavy)」
The barrels suspended on my sides are made out of metal so it’s pretty heavy.
If I didn’t have this Fenrir body of mine, I would have already collapsed walking along the mountain path carrying this.
「Gahaha, sorry about that Routa. The road to the well’s bad so it wouldn’t be a good idea to take a horse there」
The old man, who was carrying the same barrel over his shoulder, roughly patted my head as he said that.
「Kuーn kuーn! (Geez, don’t think I’d be delighted by you just rubbing my head for a bit! I’m not such a cheap dog okay?)」
「Chuー (My dear, you’re not being persuasive, wagging your tail like that you know?)」
Tsk, I’ve been accustomed to getting pat every day that my body is doing it by itself! How annoying! Pat me even more!
「Wafuu! (Oh, hey Ren! You should work a bit yourself! Why are you the one who’s living a fulfilling life rather than me who is a pet!?)」
「Chuー (What kind of work are you expecting a feeble woman such as myself do? It’s the husband’s job to do manual labor, right?)」
You’re weak? How about you say that to the skeleton you smashed into smithereens yesterday.
Also, I’m not your husband.
「Fuu, fuu… H-how sloppy. And you call yourself the household’s dog」
The one who just called me out from behind was Zenobia-chan who was carrying several barrels tied up on her back.
「I-in order to show that I can protect the Faulks household, I’ll carry ten or even twenty of these」
「Wan wan (Why would that matter? I’m not aiming to be a watchdog after all, just an ordinary pet)」
Zenobia-chan was shaking as she walked forward so it must be really heavy.
That’s already about a ton, isn’t it?
She still has that strength of hers which defies the laws of physics, but such an amount is too much even for Goribia-chan.3
The old man also tried to stop her but Zenobia-chan just confidently told him to leave it to her so we just let her do her own thing.
And after a few minutes of traveling along the mountain path, we finally arrived at a clearing that leads back to the road.
「Ah, welcome back!」
Ojou-sama, who was waiting by the carriage’s luggage area, suddenly raised her head when we arrived and said that.
「Wafuu (I’m back Ojou-sama~)」
I snuggled up against Ojou-sama who jumped towards me.
I’m also getting healed from all my fatigue.
「Nya~n (Good work, Routa-san)」
Nafra, who was sitting on top of a box, was squinting her eyes in content as she greeted me.
You bastard. Were you just playing hooky over here while I was out there working!?
「Nyafu~n? (What’s with that look? Nafra was over here for a just cause you know? She was taking care of Ojou-sama by playing and taking naps with her after all)」
「WAFUー! (THAT’S WHAT YOU’D CALL PLAYING HOOKY!)」
Shit! That was supposed to be my actual role but I feel like all I’ve been doing is work lately.
Even though my motto is to live life comfortably……
「Routa, you worked hard, didn’t you? Zenobia-san too, good work」
「I-it was a nothing significant, merely a simple task」
Zenobia-chan, your knees are shaking you know?
「Wan wan (Anyway, just what are this barrels actually for?)」
The contents of this barrel made entirely out of metal was water that was drawn from a well in the mountain.
Since we went out of our way to get it, it must be some kind of precious water.
It might just be the old man being particular about the water he uses though since he’s a chef.
「James-san, about the water that we came to get today, is it for something special?」
The thing I was wondering about was asked by Ojou-sama.
「Yeah, I guess I didn’t really explain it. This is mineral water. It’s a bit special you see」
The old man opened one of the barrels which made a loud popping sound.
「Wafuu!? (Whoa! That surprised me!)」
Ojou-sama and I jumped up at the same time in surprise.
The old man just looked at us then proceeded to pour some of the water from the barrel into a couple of glasses.
I put my nose closer to the glass cup to sniff it and try to check out its contents.
It looked just like regular water though……
No wait, I guess it does have a few bubbles floating in it.
Don’t tell me this isー
「Fufufu. Routa, your face looks funny when viewed through the glass you know?」
「Wafun? (Eh? Is that so? Like this?)」
I tried to shift my angle to show Ojou-sama a different look, and each time my face on the glass would change, she would hold her stomach laughing.
I’m happy that she’s enjoying this. *Tail wags*
While we were doing that, the old man started putting in various things in the water.
Bubbles formed around the thin apple slices he put in then added a dash of honey on top.
After lightly stirring the concoction, he presented it to Ojou-sama.
「Here you go, Ojou-sama」
「Waa, thank you!」
Ojou-sama immediately drank the water with apples and honey in it.
「Hmm, it’s bubbly……! Delicious……!」
「Wafuu wafuu (Ojou-sama! Me too! Me too!)」
Ojou-sama poured some of the water on her hand and let me lick it.
「Wafuu! (Uhyoo, it’s really really fizzy!)」
The bubbles on the drink were big and felt rough on the tongue, however, it gave off a pleasant sensation once it reached my throat.
Adding the refreshing sourness of the apple and the sweetness of the honey to that just completes the cider-like taste of the drink.4
This thing’s really tasty.
「The water taken from this mountain is unusually carbonated you see. It’s a bit bitter to drink as is but it has various uses in cooking. It can make pancakes fluffy and tenderize meat after all」5
As I thought, that’s soda water, isn’t it?
That’s probably why a barrel made out of metal was used. That way, the water won’t go flat.
「The horses are already getting along in years so we can’t use them to travel to faraway places like this mountain. Now that this guy’s here though, I’ll be able to use this water again」
The old man patted Mea’s neck, who was still loitering around the greenery eating grass.
After that, he tied it to the carriage.
Mea has a big body but it’s still nothing compared to the carriage’s size.
Also, the carriage that we rode here wasn’t elegant and didn’t look fit for an Ojou-sama but it was designed to be rugged and sturdy for transporting luggage.
It does have a canopy to avoid getting the passengers and their baggage wet but there are no decorations on it at all.
It’s a carriage that’s purely for practical uses.
「Back then, we were able to make shopping trips to town using this. The household’s horses are already too old to make that trip but I’m glad that I kept maintaining this old thing since we were able to use it again」
So he even does the carriage maintenance?
This old man can actually do everything, can’t he?
「But even so, you’re quite docile aren’t you? You seem to be used to wearing a harness after all. I wonder if you actually do have an owner」
「Hihin (Is that so? I don’t know since I can’t remember)」
Mea blankly replied to the old man while still chewing on some grass.
「Well, whatever I guess. I’ve already received permission from Galdolfー I mean, from the head of the household. Even if you have a real owner, you can stay with us for now」
「Hihin (E-ehehe. Thank you)」
Mea snorted in delight from being patted on the head by the old man.
Still eating though.
Which reminds me, the sun’s already high up in the sky.
I’m getting hungry.
It seems like Ojou-sama, who was right beside me, is also hungry since her stomach made a cute rumbling sound.
Sensing our looks of anticipation, the old man wryly smiled and said.
「Well, if you’re going to be like that, shall we take a break and have lunch then?」
「Wafuー! (Ya~y! Lunch! We’re eating lunch~! I can’t wait~!)」
If we’re talking about outings, it definitely has to be the old man’s sandwich set.
「Over here, everyone」
It seems like while we were out fetching the water, Ojou-sama’s attending maid Miranda-san had already prepared the food.
A picnic blanket was already laid out under the shade of a tree and a basket containing the sandwiches was also already prepared.
「Wan wan! (I’ll gonna eat it all~. All that work made me really hungry so I’ll eat it all up you know~)」
I gleefully headed to the picnic blanket.
「Hihi~n (Ah, I want some too~)」
Oi, you were eating grass just now! Don’t tell me you want to eat again!
「Nya~n (Fufun, you can’t~. This reward is only for those who worked hard you know?)」
That goes for you too! You were just taking a nap on top of Ojou-sama’s lap!
「Chuー (That is true. Just sit there and watch like an obedient follower)」
You’re one to talk! You were just idling about on top of me!
What the heck! Why are these guys who are lazier and even more gluttonous gathering around me when I’m trying to become the most useless pet over here!6
Next time on Routa’s adventures, food porn. (´・ω・｀) [TL: Oh no! Rip me, it’s my greatest weakness. Describing food…… Also, it didn’t really say "Routa’s adventures”]