Chapter 20: An encounter with a dragon! But then I started wanting to lick it!
AN: A large dog’s toilet time is… (´・ω・｀) long
This is your beloved pet, Routa.
We found the Drachen Nichts Grass safely but it would seem like bringing it back may take a while.
We’ll certainly bring it back so please wait a bit longer, okay?
Well then, I would be almost 30 years old right now if we include my previous life but I have never experienced the joy of peeing up until now.
While being embarrassed, I went full throttle.
I’ll forcefully release it until my bladder’s completely empty.
Or rather, I’m in the middle of doing that right now.
pssshhh psssh desu.
A puddle is already forming around my feet.
Uwaaaaaa, how embarrassing!
It’s embarrassing you know!
Having an accident at 30 is really embarrassing!
I looked up at the dragon with a poised look but I was screaming in my mind thinking that I’m not fooling anyone.
Aahhhhhh, no waaaayyyyy!
I’m absolutely sure that Zenovia-chan noticed it!
Of course, at a time like this, it’s not stopping at all!
The dragon who’s right before our eyes let out a roar.
Because of the increased vibrations, the cracked stalactites started to fall down.
This is bad.
The dragon with metallic-blue scales let out a huge exhale then lowered its head from its previously high place.
I can’t move at all because of fear.
Because of that, my pee has now reached my feet.
「「ＧＯＲＲＵＯＯ…… (After entering someone’s den without permission, you even have the gall to claim this as your territory…… You are a very brave……)」
There’s no way you can’t get out of this now, me.
I just noticed but it seems like I can understand what this guy’s saying.
It was the same for Garo and the others.
What the dragon is saying is being conveyed together with its growl.
Zenovia-chan gulped as the dragon got its face close to us that we can feel its warm breath.
You can hear the faint sound of its teeth hitting together as well.
As expected, even Zenovia-chan can’t hide her fright being in front of this dragon.
I can understand that feeling.
All four of my feet are trembling as well.
It’s commendable how Zenovia-chan hasn’t we herself yet.
As for me, I just gave up trying to hold it in.
Just release as much as you want, my body.
Rather than a frog getting glared at by a snake, this feels more like a dinosaur glaring at worms.
Are we going to meet our end just by getting trampled?
「ＧＡＲＲＲＯＯＯＯＯ……(Kukuu, kuhahahaha. You are quite interesting, aren’t you? Showing that kind of bravery in front of me, I am greatly pleased by it. Let me see, it’s just tea but let me treat you to it)」
The dragon let out a hearty laugh.
Although its face is not laughing, there’s no hostility in the voice that was conveyed.
Eh? Does this mean that it’s not angry?
I think you’d normally get mad if a thief enters your house and pees all over it though.
Could it be that this dragon is just a really nice guy?
For now, it seems like the danger to my life has passed.
I finally stopped peeing as well.
But still, now that it has its face close to us, it doesn’t just look scary,
It’s at a size where it can probably swallow me whole.
「ＧＵＲＲＲＯＯＯＯＯ…… (Did you come together with that human girl over there? Because guests rarely come to this nest of mine, I, the blue dragon called Renwovurm(レンヲヴルム), will do my best to make you feel welcome)」
Ooh, it seems like it really was resolved peacefully.
What a relief. As expected, it would be absurd to fight like this.
I mean, we would just be considered as snacks after all.
Feeling relieved, I was opening my mouth to replyー
ーwhen Zenovia-chan interrupted with her shaking voice.
「Wan (Ah, Ruh-roh)」2
Zenovia-chan doesn’t understand what this dragon is saying after all.
I tried thinking back on what the dragon did without that supplementary voice.
It roared causing the cave to tremble, slowly brought its face closer then let out a low growl.
Umu. No matter how you look at it, it’s giving off a vibe that’s saying 『I’m going to eat you now okay?』.
「Wan wan! (Zenovia-chan, wait! Sutei! Suteーi!)」3
「You must run away with this. This guy, even if I take him along with me, I’ll defeat it!」
Ignoring my frantic shout, Zenovia-chan threw the case containing the Drachen Nichts Grass at me then unsheathed the great sword from her back.
Black fumes seem to rise up from the sword after she gripped the handle and fired herself up.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯ…… Wh-what’s wrong? Why did you take out your sword? D-do you hate tea? I have sweets too you know?)」
That’s not it dragon-san.
She can’t understand you.
Please notice it.
「Go, Routa! Return to Ojou-sama’s side!」
Aah, calling my name for the first time like this…!
I’m happy but at the same time, I’m not!
Zenovia-chan! That resolve of yours is meaningless!
I feel bad for ruining this touching moment but don’t fight it!
Not only are you getting yourself into a needless battle, you’re causing even confusion!
Still, I’m not human so my words can’t reach Zenovia-chan who’s greatly brandishing that huge sword to hit the face of that faltering dragon.
「Wafuu wafuu (Please, somehow, let that great sword be fake……! Let it snap! Let it bre~ak!)」
I yell from the sidelines while hoping that, like usual, the sword breaks.
I close my eyes and pray for Zenovia-chan’s greatsword to be easily broken by the dragon’s hard scales.
However, as if to crush my hopes, an intense slashing sound could be heard.
It was effectiiiiiiiiivvvvvveeeee!?
Why is it that you only have a real article at a time like this.
So it wasn’t a situation where a fake heirloom was passed along for generations after all!
That blow, which would be considered ruthless by anyone, tore through the dragon’s tough scales and dealt huge damage.
The dragon was greatly taken aback while large amounts of blood were flowing from its face.
「ＧＵＲＲＲＯＯＯ！ (Wh-why. Why was I attacked……!?)」
That’s because your words can’t reach her!
「Wan wan! (Oi, you! Can’t you speak human language!? She didn’t understand our conversation earlier! If you tell her you don’t want to fight, you might just convince her!)」
Incidentally, I completely froze up and can’t move!
Do your best, Dragon!
「ＧＡＲＯ!? (What was that!? Crap! It has been over a thousand years since I last talked with a human so I completely forgot about it! I’ll do it! I’m going to tell her using human language!)」
「Wan! (Go for it! If you can talk to her, you may be able to persuade her!)」
「Hmm, Ek hev eck ovin! Vio sukarvum fa meo!」
「Wan!? (What language is that!?)」
You actually can’t speak it, can you!? Where the heck is that language even from!
「Is it casting some kind of spell!? I won’t allow it!!」
Did her nervousness fade seeing the effectiveness of her first strike? Zenovia-chan became more determined than ever to cut the dragon’s front leg.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯ！！ (Ouch! Wh-why!? That was the human’s official language used around here right!? I can’t be mistaken because I remember it from a thousand years ago!)」
There’s no way she’d understand a language from a thousand years ago riiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhhhttttttttttt!!!
Once the ones ruling the country change, the language would also change. Even if it’s still the same country using the same language, after a thousand years, something surely would have changed.
It’s hard having a dragon’s sense of time.
「Just a little more and I’ll be able to cut it!!」
More wounds appear on the dragon’s body as the aura surrounding Zenovia-chan’s greatsword increases.
「ＧＵＲＯＯＯＯＯＯ！（It hurts, it hurts! S-stop! Oi! I’m telling you it hurts! You! ……d-don’t just stand there……!)」
While it was writhing in pain because of all the cuts on its body, the dragon finally lost its patience and said.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯ！！(Do something about thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssss!!)」
The wind pressure from its spread out wings cause Zenovia-chan to get blown away.
After hitting the rock wall of the cave hard, Zenovia-chan slid down.
She dropped her great sword and is now she’s buried in rubble, not even twitching.
She has completely lost consciousness.
「Wafuu!? (No way, just one hit!?)」
「ＧＡＡＡＡＡＡＲＵＯＯＯＯＯＯ！！ (The stealing I can forgive! The peeing I can forgive! But cutting someone whose not even resisting multiple times is a different story! Punishment has to be dealt!)」
While I was surprised, behind me, the dragon has completely snapped.
No matter how you look at it, this is obviously our side’s fault so what the dragon is saying is completely right.
Even if she couldn’t understand us, it’s still a fact that she just completely trampled on the dragon’s generosity.
It would probably be justified if it eats her.
「Wan (Well, having said that, I really can’t just leave her alone……)」
I, who could finally move, got in between the dragon and Zenovia-chan.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯ…… (Move aside. I don’t care if she’s your companion, I still have to punish that girl for a bit)」
The dragon’s eyes became bloodshot because of anger and it started breathing roughly.
It’s really angry.
「Wan wan (Iya, I really want to do that, but still ……by the way, what kind of punishment will you give her)」
「ＧＵＲＯＯＯＯ…… (You’ve already seen it. I’ll just return to her what she has done to me)」
If a human like Zenovia-chan receives the same attack that greatsword dealt, she’d get torn to pieces, wouldn’t she?
「Wan wan (Well, even if you do that, look, she has already fainted. We’ll leave quietly so can’t we just leave it at that……?)」
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯ…… (No. Wounding a maiden’s body like this, I absolutely can’t let it pass)」
Wait, did you just refer to yourself as a maiden?
Were you actually a girl?
「Wan wan (Please! Just overlook it this time!)」
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯ…… (It’s useless no matter how much you say it. You won’t be able to convince me otherwise. Now move aside)」
「Wan wan! (Even so, could you somehow, please!)」
「ＧＵＲＯＯＯＯＯＯ…… How persistent! I don’t have a grudge with you so step aside!)」
「Wan wan! Awooooooooooooo! (Somehow, please, could you please just overlook iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttt!!)」
Because I pleaded with all my might, a white flash started flowing out from my mouth.
Oops, a beam came out.
That unexpected beam attack went straight for the dragon’s face.
「ＧＵＲＲＯ？！ (Watch out!)」
Just before the beam hit, a magic formation appeared in front of the dragon causing it to miss.
Then, the deflected beam hit the cave wall, drilled a hole and went straight outside.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯ！ (You! You immediately go for the ultimate destruction magic from the start!? If I wasn’t me, I would have already been killed!!)」
I unexpectedly found out the real identity of that beam.
So it was magic after all.
Well, that doesn’t really matter right now.
More than that, I just lost all hopes for persuasion.
This is bad.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯ！！！ (Even though I said I’ll turn a blind eye to your deeds, this is your reply!? You are now equally guilty! Receive your punishment together!)」
As the dragon took in a huge gulp of air, multiple magic formations started accumulating around its mouth.
A rock-melting blue flame is heading straight towards me and Zenovia-chan.
「Awooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! (I don’t want to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!)」
My scream turned into a beam that offset the dragon’s blue flame.
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯ……（Nunu, to match my incineration magic, one with the highest magic power output among all my magic……! You’re pretty good!)」
「Wan wan! (D-don’t spit out such a dangerous thing! Are you trying to kill me!)」
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯ！ (You’re the one who tried to kill me first!)」
「Wan wan (Oh shut it you thousand-year-old shut in*! You just get scratched a little and you already start yapping!)」4
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯ！(W-w-w-who are you calling a shut-in! I’ll have you know that I make sure to go out once in a while! Once in about a hundred years, I go outside to air out my scales……)」
「Wan wan! (Aren’t you a hardcore shut in then! You’d turn into a moss dragon staying inside the cave for that long, you thousand-year-old spinster!)」
「ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯ！ (W-w-why would you go that far! Even using the word spinster, do you feel such tremendous disdain towards me! Unforgivable! Unforgivable! Absolutely unforgivableeeee!!)」
Together with our rowdy argument was an exchange of beams and fire breaths.
The cave ended up in ruins because of our attacks.
Running out of breath at the same time, we just glared at each other in exhaustion.
「ＧＡＲＯＯ…… (W-why are you so determined to protect that human girl…… Judging from how you look, you’re a demon wolf, right? The demon wolf tribe should hold an extreme hate of humans because of the fate your tribe suffered a thousand years ago. And besides, if that girl wasn’t so impertinent in the first place, none of these would have happened. It would be better to leave that foolish girl alone, right……?)」
Giving up, the blue dragon Renwovurm asked.
「Wan wan (That might be true since Zenovia-chan is always aiming for my life. In fact, I’ve already been cut by her twice. I also don’t think she’ll learn her lesson and still continue to attack me after I save her though…)」
Zenovia-chan is definitely a meathead after all.
「ＧＵＲＯＯ…… (Then, why……?)」
「Wan wan (Well, you see, once she wakes up from this, she would probably cry since she’ll be mortified for getting saved by me. She’ll be like, ‘getting saved by that bastard…’ and ‘being saved by an apparition…’, stuff like that)」
I can already see a magnificently chaotic future with that.
「Wan (Those tears and snot covering Zenovia-chan’s face, I want to lick it to my heart’s content. Using helping as a reason would be good enough!)」
I declared that with a poised look.
A draft started blowing from the opening of the cave.
「ＧＡ、ＧＡＲＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＮ！！(Are you a p-pervertーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?」
「Awwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooooooooooooonnn!! (Shut uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!! Don’t make light of a peroristooooooooooooooooooooooo!!」6
Together, we both did our loudest howl/roar which turned into a tremendous flash and thunderous roar that dyed everything in white.
It’s a beast shouting that it wants to lick its way to the center of the world (´・ω・｀)